Finally Sober

What a weekend! Now as you may know, my birthday was last week. It fell on a Wednesday so I decided to celebrate it the following weekend. I didn’t do anything big I just went to a new club with a few friends. Okay so let me just say this, I am NOT a drinker. I’m not fond of alcohol at all! I don’t like the taste and I’m not into the after effects either, but since it was my 21st birthday I figured, what the hell, I’ll come out of my element just this one time. Bad choice! Man one drink turned into two, two turned into four, and after that I just lost count. Me not being a drinker and everything, I wasn’t aware that I couldn’t hold my liquor for sh*t! I was highly intoxicated, but it wasn’t to the point where I blacked out or anything. I was very aware of what was going on, too aware. It felt as though I was seeing everything for the first time. I was counting the pores on the chicks face that was dancing next to me, I was admiring the color of the walls, and until that moment I never really appreciated how comfortable the back seat of my car was. I felt invincible. I was busting moves I couldn’t possibly have accomplished while sober. I felt as if I was floating on cloud nine. I was molesting people left and right, and saying things that I would have never said in my right state of mind. My friend had to partially drag me to the car and drive me home of course, had I attempted to drive myself, I probably wouldn’t be here writing this blog right now. I got home and made a sandwich for myself and I hauled my ass up those stairs with difficulty, undressed and laid across the bed and fell asleep……

I awoke the next morning with a massive hang over and that same sandwich from the previous night in my hand. It was one of the worst feelings I have ever felt. I was nauseous, my body felt like it weighed a ton, I had a immense headache, and I still felt a little intoxicated. I spent the whole day in my room, leaving only occasionally to go to the bathroom to throw my guts up. I vowed never to drink again. Needless to say I wont be getting drunk anytime soon if ever! The whole experience was comical to me but it was also a reminder of why I don’t drink. Those few moments of feeling indestructible, is so not worth the feeling that you get afterwards. I can’t fathom why or how people do it on a regular basis. To all my alcoholics out there I’m not judging you at all, I just don’t want to and can’t hang when it comes to drinking.
Thanks for reading!

21 years of Inconsistency

Another year, another birthday. At one point I honestly didn't think I'd live to see this day. I've been through alot and I know there's still alot more to come, but now I'm stronger and more willing to deal with what life has in store for me. Through out the years nothing has been consistent with me, whether it was relationships, feelings, goals, plans, grades or my frame of mind. Up to this point I'm still uncertain about my plans for college, which is very frustrating, because I'm not getting any younger and I need to start acting with haste when it comes to school. I'm continuously being told by friends and loved ones that I need to make up my mind, that I need to figure out what I want to do and stick with it. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it were just that easy. I'm yearning for consistency and stability in aspect of my life. I'm working on it though, I can't say that this will be the year that I'll change, but we'll see.